||[May. 15th, 2015|08:01 pm]
I have had many visions while meditating on various topics; since I have learned to better focus my visions I have found greater control over the expressions and outcomes. The following is an example of a vision I had; and my reaction to this vision is offered as an example of my dedication to respect on a spiritual level for all humanity. This is an example of horror.|
Time is relative. To demonstrate commitment many people ask things sexually of their partners which have little to no sexual meaning: this is to demonstrate emotional commitment rather than physical intimacy. Time being more relative in some situations than in others allows scenarios where greater commitment is required of one partner than of another. How much commitment is appropriate to ask of your partner?
A woman fellates a man. Time is frozen for him, he simply enjoys the act. As a young girl she begins this activity looking up at the eyes of the man she loves. Beside herself she sees a mirror image of herself and her partner. A young girl and an adult man performing a sexual act next to their parallel images.
Time passes. The young girl is an adolescent. The man is unchanged. Her reflection is unchanged. She begins to question the meaning of this act, consuming the years of her life. The man begins to pay her less attention, less respect as she begins to slow her performance of this singular sex act. There is no conclusion, no climax. Both men of both images are observing the younger, fresher girl and ignoring her older reflection making the same sacrifice and even more commitment. She continues to fellate this man.
She has grown into an adult woman. Twenty, thirty, forty years have passed. A singular act of fellation is all this now-grown woman has accomplished. With tired eyes she glances at her reflection, young and nubile eagerly performing the same sexual act as though no time has passed by. She looks up at her former lover but cannot find his eyes as he is directing all his attention to her rival; the eternally youthful reflection which has left her forever. She continues: she cannot stop fellating him until the act is done.
An old woman is kneeling next to a young girl giving oral sex to two identical men. This has been ongoing for countless days, innumerable years and tears are running down her sallow cheeks as she laments the bygone life she committed to this act. She is tired and weary, unloved and dishonored. He slaps her as she slows down and she resumes her work offering a meaningless sexual commitment to a beast she once called a man. He will not look at her. The young girl is flighty, full of boundless youth and bright energy. She cannot be phased and appears totally unaware of her future self adjacent. One is filled with life while the other silently prays for death.
Days and weeks, years and decades later an aged crone finally receives the answer to her prayer. Death has sweetly delivered her from a life of waste. The genitals of the man she respected are pulled unceremoniously from her mouth as she droops over to the side, dead of old age and unnoticed by this man now exclusively admiring her younger reflection. She is forgotten and it is as though she never was.
Two men, twins are now watching a young girl fellate one of them. She is eager and aroused, enthusiastic and vibrant. Next them in a sprawled heap lies a corpse of an old woman. And I cried. I cried like never before, for the humanity lost and for the purity corrupted and for the love denied. I cried for God because I know that God cries as well, great tears of sadness for every man and every woman who thought there was a meaning in this inverted commitment we call sexuality.
In this vision I heard a response to my tears, the first words I have heard since the vision began yet not exactly words in the strict sense. It was laughter. The man was laughing at me, and laughing at this dead woman. Laughing because her usefulness was done and he was willing and able to continue using her youthful spirit in any way he chose.
And so I undertook to murder this man. Energy surging through my body and current raging through my soul I stood. Eyes ablaze with hellish intent, I reached out my left hand and; calling upon all the primal potential of Air I pulled his future away from him forevermore. I threw it away, just as he had thrown away this girl's life with his laughter. In a second attack, I became the archangel Uriel and with my left hand as the vehicle of Earth I removed most of his cranium. I crushed it, squeezed it in my palm like it was so much spice in a pestle and mortar, then returned it to him without a brain. Never again would he laugh. Never again would he speak. Never again would he move and never again would he learn. Never again would the love of another be twisted and corrupted to his interests. Never again.
The girl stopped. He was slack-jawed, vacant with a bit of drool descending from his bottom lip. She stood up. She looked around, aware of her surroundings for the first time in a century. She spoke his name, a name I will not repeat. I continued to weep. And weep.